How to Banter With Men (Verbally Flirt With Your Crush)

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Bantering is a skill. Women often don’t learn bantering because the feedback they get isn’t as honest as the feedback men get.

When a girl doesn’t like a guy, she tells him, but whatever a good-looking woman says to a man is perceived as good even if it really isn’t.

Women don’t get honest feedback from men.

This video will allow girls to say things without having to think about them. Banter is about picking something in the moment and making something out of it

Key points explained:

1. You don’t have to respond

i. This helps you relax and removes pressure from the situation.

ii. Whatever you say must not be forced; it must be in perfect harmony with the situation.

iii. This ability is a mental muscle that you train.

iv. Not everything you say has to be a home-run.

v. When you don’t have to respond to a guy’s bantering but something comes up, that’s when you allow yourself to say something without it being filtered by your own insecurities.

vi. Example: LeBron James plays his best games when he isn’t under pressure.

2. Focus on feeling ‘self-amusement’

i. Allow your emotions to dictate what you say rather than your logic.

ii. You cannot use your brain to banter.

iii. Instead, think to yourself ‘what can I say right now to have fun?’ or have an attitude about it and think ‘what are you going to do if I do this?’ This is a form of testing him.

iv. Think of talking to him as though he is a child. Make a mental effort to see their inner child. This enables you to let go of expectations.

v. Example: imagine playing with your dog. This puts you in a different mental state and allows you to relax.

vi. Feel the emotion of self-amusement and allow it to act through you. Express it. By doing this, the action will be congruent with this feeling.

vii. Think of a memory where you had extreme fun. Feel what you felt then and talk to guys whilst feeling this.

viii. Caveat: it requires practice.

3. Include physicality

i. Banter is not only about the verbal element, but the physical element too.

ii. Including verbal and mental bantering rounds out your bantering and makes it more seductive.

iii. Example: rather than just saying ‘get out of here, I don’t believe you’, say it whilst pushing him away, making physical contact with him and look away.

iv. Words are a form of body language.

v. Think to yourself ‘what sort of mentality would I need to have to naturally produce those actions?’ This allows you to recreate results automatically.

4. Include silence

i. This adds an element of sexuality to your bantering.

ii. Don’t just respond with words but with facial expressions and silence as well.

iii. This links to key point number 2 and the idea of ‘what are you going to do about it?’

iv. You are messing with him and seeing how far you can take it.

v. Example: he may tell you things about himself or even ask you a simple question such as ‘where are you from?’ but you respond with your facial expression and silence.

5. Respond with the opposite.

i. Say the opposite of what people expect just to mess with them.

ii. It is such an easy way to get a reaction.

iii. It must be playful.

iv. Example: once a girl said to me ‘by the way, you do know I’m a man.’

6. Don’t think ahead by feeling your breath

i. This enables you to respond without thinking because you are in the present moment.

ii. Don’t feed your mind with attention because this causes nervousness.

iii. Focusing on your breath diverts attention away from your mind. This causes a response from the present moment, not from your conditioned mind.

Here's a link to the article version: mindfulattraction.org/blog/2019/8/11/how-to-ban…

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