How to Control Your Temper

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Controlling your anger requires a desire to understand its source, and to take action to tamp it down.

Step 1: Count to 10
Declare a "time out" when you feel anger rising. Remove yourself from the situation. Counting to 10 can buy time to defuse your temper.

Step 2: Do something physical
Take a brisk walk or go for a run to exhaust an angry impulse. Swim, dig in the garden – anything that may interfere with the rush of negative feelings.

Step 3: Keep an anger log
Log your thoughts in writing when anger intrudes. Recording these moments limits the effects of your rage.

Tip
Yoga and meditation can also temper the effects of rage.

Step 4: Practice deep breathing
Correct patterns of thought through deep breathing, or visualize pleasant memories. Use a mantra or a private word that triggers a peaceful reflection. Listen to relaxing music.

Tip
Therapists and anger management professionals are trained to help you defuse anger.

Step 5: Practice expressing anger
Practice expressing anger to a neutral party. This allows you to clear the air before exhibiting behavior you might regret.

Tip
Carry small objects or pieces of paper with advice. These items can serve as cues to avoid sudden eruptions.

Step 6: Use “I” statements
Think carefully before you speak. Use "I" statements, such as 'I feel as if…,' so that you don't offend someone by placing blame and escalating tensions.

Step 7: Use humor
Use humor to defuse friction. But be careful not to overestimate your charm.

Step 8: Ask yourself what you want
Analyze what look, tone, speech, action – even breathing – you exhibited in anger. Return to the original situation and attempt a different approach.

Did You Know?
Stress from anger sparks electrical changes in the heart that can lead to heart attacks.