How to Love Your Spouse Again

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How to Love Your Spouse Again

1. Resist entering a critical mode
At some point, any person in a relationship can find themselves observing their partner through a critical lens. This lens can be clearly distorted: for example, when you find yourself cringing at the way your partner clears his throat or feeling overly annoyed when she needs to run back in the house for something she forgot. You can also start magnifying or zeroing in on your partner’s mistakes, cataloging their flaws, and building a case. It is way too easy when you live in close quarters with someone to pick them apart and get annoyed at some of their habits. After all, you know them pretty well. But the truth is, your partner probably always had these qualities, even when you first fell in love.

2. STOP CALLING HIM "HEY"
As in, "Hey, can you pick up the kids after work?" or "Hey, did you remember to call the accountant?" One of the easiest ways to rekindle your romance is to act like you did way back when you were dating. Try a pet name that you used in the early years of your relationship, or the simply more affectionate "Hon's" and "Babe's" that you may not have uttered in years.
3. GO ON A DATE TOGETHER
I’m always amazed at the number of couples who don’t date anymore, and yet I understand it because even consciously making an effort, it falls to the side because we’re so busy. Dating is so much fun, though! Why do we give it up willingly?! The simple answer to that is that life has a way of keeping you so busy once you’re settled into marriage and parenthood that it falls by the wayside. Ladies, you have got to stop letting that happen! Really.
4. Touch (and talk!) to each other regularly
Even though you live in the same house, the figurative distance between you and your husband can become an insurmountable chasm if you both fail to bridge that gap. By touching — and talking — to one another regularly, you might just begin to remember what made you fall in love in the first place.
5. Treat your partner with kindness
Simple as it sounds, kindness is really the key to staying in love. Research has shown that taking more loving actions actually makes you feel more in love. In any interaction with your partner, whether it’s personal or practical, try to be kind in how you express yourself. This softens your partner, even in heated moments. Continuing to be loving and generous has a huge payoff and a million rewards. It makes you feel good within yourself and creates space for your partner to ultimately move closer to you. It allows you to be more compassionate toward your partner and feel for their experience, separate from yours, which also increases your own feelings of interest, attraction, and tenderness.
6. SHAKE IT UP
Dozens of studies have found that one of the best ways to bust a rut is by injecting some novelty into your usual routine. Find a free weekend this month, drop the typical Saturday chores-and-errands dance, and plan something that you'll love doing together. Maybe it's as involved as a weekend B&B trip, or maybe it's as simple as spending an afternoon playing tourist in your hometown—say, by checking out the new neighborhood sushi place or visiting a nearby historical site.
7. Take advantage of what you love about your partner
Reflect on what you love and appreciate about your partner. What qualities do you admire or feel amused by? If you like that they’re adventurous, keep sharing new activities. If you enjoy their sense of humor, be playful in your communication. If you value that they’re warm and affectionate, make sure to connect with them each day, rather than getting caught up in other things.


Music - bensound.com - A New Beginning.