How to Talk Your Way Out of Anything

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Step 1: Avoid
Avoid conflict. The best way to get out of trouble is to avoid getting into it in the first place.

Step 2: Create a diversion
Create a diversion. If you are faced with a particularly difficult conversation, create a diverse to get out of it. Use compliments, say you have call waiting, or fake bad reception.

Step 3: Confuse
Confuse the person you are talking to by offering too much of an explanation when asked a difficult question. Talk so much, and make the explanation sound so complicated, that the person you are talking to will be sorry they ever asked.

Tip
Act as if the person just asked you a very stupid question when over-explaining. Alternately, play dumb yourself!

Step 4: Suggest an alternate truth
Suggest an alternate truth. The next time someone accuses you of something, simply suggest the exact opposite happened. Act surprised that they didn't realize your version of the truth.

Step 5: Check with someone else
State that you have to check with someone else. Talk your way out of a problem by making it somebody else's problem. Defer to a friend, manager, or parent.

Step 6: Lie
Lie, or at the very least be selectively honest. Be convincing when you lie, and keep your story simple, so you can easily remember what you said. Be firm, thoughtful, and always make sure to lie for a good reason.

Did You Know?
According to a 2010 survey by the Science Museum of London, men are bigger liars than women, lying on average three times a day versus two times a day for women.